WHAT HAPPENS AT A VIETNAMESE TEA CEREMONY: A GUIDE FOR NON-VIETNAMESE PARTNERS
You'll be handed a tray, an áo dài and a schedule you can't quite follow. That's normal, and it's easier than it looks.
We photograph a lot of tea ceremonies for couples where one partner isn't Vietnamese. This is what the morning actually looks like, what people usually worry about, and a few small things that make it more fun.
What the Tea Ceremony Is
The tea ceremony is when two families formally meet, and when the couple is introduced to each other's ancestors at the family altar. It usually happens at home, it's fairly short, and for many parents and grandparents it matters more than the reception.
It's often the most emotional part of the day for the family, which is exactly why people want to get it right.
How the Morning Unfolds, Step by Step
Every family does it a little differently, but most tea ceremonies we photograph follow the same shape.
The procession. The groom's side arrives with a group carrying lacquered trays of gifts: betel and areca, tea, wine, cakes and fruit.
Introductions. A representative from each family speaks, introduces everyone and formally asks to bring the two families together.
The bride comes out. Her mother usually walks her out to meet the groom.
At the altar. The couple lights incense at the family altar to introduce themselves to the ancestors.
Tea for the parents. The couple serves tea to their parents and elders. In return, the elders give their blessings, and often jewellery or red envelopes.
When one family isn't Vietnamese, it usually ends there, without a second ceremony at the groom's home. The whole thing takes a little over two hours.
What Non-Vietnamese Partners Worry About Most
Almost always, it's the order of things. What comes first, what each part needs, where to stand.
You don't need to learn it all. Before the day, we sit down with you to agree on the schedule and share what we've seen work. On the morning itself, our lead photographer, who is in-house and fully trained for tea ceremonies, can quietly guide the family through each step if anyone is unsure.
You don't need to speak Vietnamese either. But if you can, bring an interpreter, or ask a friend or relative who speaks both languages to help. It makes the conversation between the two families much warmer.
Wearing Áo Dài for the First Time
This is the part we enjoy most. Partners who aren't Vietnamese put on an áo dài, step into a ritual they've never done before, and almost always love it.
It stops feeling like a formality and starts feeling like being welcomed into a culture. That excitement shows in the photos.
Small Extras That Make It More Fun
If your schedule has some room, consider a door game. At Thanh and Se Hoi's tea ceremony, the groom and his tray carriers had to get through a few challenges at the door before they could meet the bride. It was one of the most fun parts of the morning.
Small things help too. Paper confetti or a few playful props give the photos more life without taking anything away from the ritual.
How We Photograph a Tea Ceremony
We arrive about an hour and a half early to set up our equipment and lighting.
Then we photograph the preparation: the bride doing her makeup with friends, relatives helping to set everything up. They're small moments, but they're some of the most honest ones of the day, and they matter a lot to us.
Before the ceremony starts, we take portraits of the couple and photos with the family. During the ceremony, we follow it as it happens and cover it from as many angles as we can.
We usually photograph both sides, the bride's family and the groom's. Each has its own morning before the ceremony, and those moments are just as real.
Tea ceremonies are one of the hardest parts of a wedding to photograph. We wrote about why we love them anyway. You can also see more of them: Alek and Thuc Anh in Saigon and Lisa and Carlos at The Anam Cam Ranh.
Questions Couples Ask Us About Tea Ceremonies
How long does a tea ceremony take?
A little over two hours, from the procession to the last cup of tea.
Do I need to speak Vietnamese?
No. But an interpreter, or a friend or relative who speaks both languages, makes it much easier for the two families to connect.
Is the tea ceremony on the same day as the wedding?
Usually, yes. It keeps things simpler for both families, especially for friends and relatives flying in from abroad.
Do you photograph both families?
Yes, we usually cover both sides. Each family has its own preparations before the ceremony, and those moments are worth keeping.
You don't need to get every step right. What the families remember is that you were part of it.
Planning a tea ceremony?
Tell us about your families and your day. We'll help you plan the morning and photograph it as it really happens.
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